Because going to the movies doesn’t have to cost the Earth…

By Charlotte Harman

Ted
Starring Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis and Seth MacFarlane.

If you’re an avid fan of the random, absurd humour that Family Guy has become so well known for… stay away from Seth MacFarlane’s latest cuddly creation, Ted.

This film is one of the biggest disappointments in cinema this year. The idea of a magical teddy bear coming to life and becoming a washed up celebrity is a brilliant and refreshing storyline – providing you have a brilliant narrative to move it along, not to mention top-notch comedy sequences. Ted has neither.

The jokes are just plain crude without being funny. It feels as though the drastically politically incorrect gags are desperately trying to be offensive and therefore fail at being funny or clever. Ted is trying to reach those deliciously awkward comedic heights of the likes of Borat, where the audience purses their lips and lets out a ‘should I be laughing at this?’ chuckle. Instead, you end up staring blankly at the screen, lost in a haze of pointless swearing mixed with desperate jokes about various disabilities.

It’s hard to form any emotional attachment to the characters too and the strange storylines don’t fit together properly. To top it all off, Mark Wahlberg’s exaggerated Boston accent really starts to sound like fingernails on a blackboard after around 20 minutes.

The only joy in this film is seeing a few of the Family Guy characters in their non-animated roles and spotting a few famous cameos. Admittedly the cinematography is also very good, but I can’t help wondering whether this is another comedic ploy, playing on the irony that such careful attention was paid on the camera work for a film staring a teddy bear. Regardless, the nice frames and shots can’t make up for the pure shoddiness of the film.

So if you’re looking for some Saturday night entertainment, perhaps stay in with your own teddy as I’m sure even without it magically coming to life, it will still be more entertaining than Ted.

Here comes the science bit…

GC articles show you one of four ways (the one in bold) to live greener…

/ Be a winner (not a binner) /
/ Turn up the style (not the heat) /
/ Love the trend (not the spend) /
/ Do it in public (not the car/plane) /

Main pic: PA Images.