By Emily Rycroft

These were the top 10 most popular stories on Global Cool in August. Thanks for reading and getting involved – and yes, there will be partial nudity as usual…

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All pics: PA Images

Turning your TV completely off rather than leaving it on standby might be a pain in the arse (given that you have to actually get up out of your chair to do it), but it will save you loads of cash and help preserve your TV for longer. As a gentle reminder not to leave your TV on stand by we bring you TV turn-off of the week: A TV lowlight that proves that sometimes the only way is not Essex… it’s the OFF button…

This week we’re turning off Top Gear. A fairly obvious target for Global Cool you might think, and you’d be right, but this has nothing to do with the fact that our least favourite wearer of stone wash jeans and his mates regularly get themselves moist with middle-aged excitement about gas guzzling cars. Nor does it really have anything to do with the fact they’ve slagged off electric cars with what Nissan described as ‘misleading’ reviews.

The real reason is that the Top Gear guys drove into a spot of bother this week when they parked in disabled bays. On Sunday night viewers watched Jeremy Clarkson and James May discussing the pros and cons of their electric cars while clearly standing on a disabled logo next to their cars. Disabled motoring groups have hit out saying that this sort of behaviour is ‘typical’ of Clarkson and we wholeheartedly agree.

So there you have it. Not only do they disrespect Mexicans, they also disrespect the disabled too. Nice. We reckon this is a much better watch…

What have you been watching this week? Let us us know in the comments box below or on Twitter @global_cool…

Jeremy Clarkson’s constant environmentalist-bashing seems to finally have caught up with him (presumably this is karma for the fact that Jezza has ruined stone wash jeans for an entire generation). Now, the petrol guzzler can look forward to a recyling depot being built right next to him with great views from his country home. Ah, how we love a bit of irony! It also got us thinking about some of our other Global Tools and what  their worst nightmare to wake up next door to would be…

The Beckhams
This isn’t the first time we’ve pointed out the wasteful way the Beckhams jet around the world. In fact, in 2007 David Beckham travelled further than the earth to the moon in air miles zooming around the globe. They also own an entire fleet of 15 cars, including a Porsche, a Hummer and a Lincoln Navigator. We think it would be pretty ironic if someone built a train station next to Posh and Becks’ pad. Once they got used to the noise I’m sure they’d realise it is so much more fun to go on Traincation, and leave their wasteful flying days in the past.

Lewis Hamilton
OK, so he may be going out with the smoking hot pussycat doll, but Nicole Scherzinger might not be around for long if he doesn’t stop blowing his hard-earned cash on silly things. The Formula One driver reportedly spent a crazy £200,000 on a personalised ‘LEW 1S’ number plate for his car. Maybe if he woke up next door to a bus stop he could stop wasting money and show Nicole how to Do It In Public.

Beyonce
The Sun newspaper reported that the bootylicious singer/actress spent a whopping $14,000 in an hour-and-a-half during a shopping spree on London’s Oxford Street last week. We wonder if Livia Firth would consider opening another branch of her Eco Age shop next door to the home of Sasha Fierce to show her a thing of two about shopping

BP CEO Bob Dudley
You may remember BP CEO Bob Dudley entering our Global Tool hall of shame for that ridiculous statement claiming 2010 as BP’s best year ever. So we were wondering how he’d like it to wake up next to his own oil spill in. Let’s see how “tiny” it seems when it’s in his own back garden.

Got any ideas for our wasteful celebs? Let us know in the comments box below or on Twitter @global_cool…

The Twitter-sphere has been buzzing with rumours about Jeremy Clarkson. However, we have received shocking claims that he has been allegedly cheating on his car with not one but a string of bicycles.

Weekends Away
For months he’s been heading off in secret for a dirty weekend’s mountain biking, romantic touring through Sussex or just a quick ride after lunch. We managed to catch up with a few of the models for an exclusive chat.

Claudette the Road Bike is still a big fan despite the revelations. “He was such a considerate rider and always wore protection. Normally a helmet but sometimes even a high vis jacket to spice things up a bit.”

His tastes sometimes ranged to the exotic, like Sophie the Bamboo Bike. “He told me he felt so much more liberated with me” she reminisced fondly, “ I made him feel young again. I just think the spark had gone out of his relationship.”

Time for a change?
The most expensive of his dalliances was a Pinarello and cost him over £6,000. The shortest reported fling was with a Boris Bike, which lasted just a few minutes before ending amicably.

Jeremy Clarkson’s Ferrari was unavailable for comment.

Know about a celebrity superinjunction? Tell us in the comments below (just make sure it’s a made up tongue-in-cheek one like this though, just so we don’t get sued – ta!)…

We’re always on the look out for the good, the bad and the ugly in celebsville. But unlike most of the celebrity rags, we’re more concerned with who’s using their canvas bag at the supermarket than who’s been spending a little bit too much quality time with the botox needle. And what better way to put them to rights than by playing our favourite TV show, Snog Marry Avoid…

Snog
Forget the BAFTAS, the Grammys had all the drama this weekend. Lady Gaga stole the show with her arrival in a giant plastic egg – yes, you heard us right – carried by a group of PVC wearing, androgenous Gaga-ites. On the red carpet, Gaga’s face was pressed up against the egg’s surface like some menacing baby bird with black sunglasses on, but when she burst out on stage she was an all yellow chick in the making. It’s rumoured she stayed in the egg for almost 6 hours with only a fan and a breathing device until her performance later on the live show. We can think of easier ways to get there, like the bus for example, but still hats off to the Gaga for choosing an egg over the usual limo.

Marry
Just as we’re getting ready for Spring-Summer 2011, designers the world over have already decided what we’re going to be wearing come Autumn-Winter. If you don’t want to be thinking about Christmas already, then think about the fabulous side to all the Fashion Weeks that are just starting: you’re fantastic summer body can be working these trends effortlessly and ethically in 6 months time.

Organic by John Patrick was one of the first shows of New York Fashion Week, and we loved it. Whether the clothes were hand knitted by Amanda Henderson, or made in the New York City Garment District from American sourced silk, the whole collection was made locally from sustainable fabrics and centred around the idea of layering. We think that these styles made in this way is a marriage made in fashion-forward heaven.

Avoid
Top Gear’s true colours were well and truly unveiled with their recent forays into “diplomacy” with our friends from Mexico. Among other unfunny jibes, presenters James May, Richard Hammond and Jeremy Clarkson dismissed Mexican food as “refried sick”. Guys, you should stick to wanking over those penis extensions, sorry cars, and making stonewash jeans terminally uncool for anyone under 40. We’d like to see Clarkson test driving a bus, preferably in Mexico City with a load of angry locals in the back.

What do you think? Tell us we’re wrong in the comments if you like…

I read somewhere that most people only wear 20 percent of their clothes 80 percent of the time. My stats are probably nearer 10/90. Country shirts, dark jeans and a threadbare pea coat in winter. This is exactly how I’ve dressed since I was four and will probably remains so until I have to be dressed by the meals on wheels lady.

Why then, amongst countless unworn items, does my wardrobe contain: one near-priceless Paul and Joe suit (beautiful on the boutique pipe-cleaner who press-ganged me into buying it / too tight, too white and too daft on me), a Harris Tweed shooting jacket (honestly, it did look quite stately when the buttons could still be done up) and three green polo shirts (when someone tells you a colour’s not your colour, move on).

This hoarding of never-worn garments reached a head though the other day. After sauntering into a charity shop, thinly masquerading as a cool vintage store, I spied leather driving jacket that even Jeremy Clarkson would have considered “just too manly”. As I handed over my credit card I heard the growing knot in my stomach screaming, “Why don’t you just throw £40 in the bin, it will save you carrying it home.” Subsequently my return journey was spent staring forlornly at this tan wardrobe breakdown nestling limply in a recycled Kwiksave carrier.

The ‘Wicksy’ as my girlfriend named it hung in my wardrobe for a week while I pondered its fate. Should I try my luck on eBay or perhaps I should just drop it back at the charity shop like an embarrassed first-time dog owner returning an uncontrollable hound to the pound?

But then, by chance, I read in the The Observer about bigwardrobe.com, where you can upload descriptions and images of clobber you want to get shot of while perusing the virtual clothes rails for items you might actually want.

What’s more, with the UK condemning over 900,000 tonnes of clothing to landfill every year, sites such as bigwardrobe.com are doing their bit to save on waste while potentially cutting down on the huge environmental and ethical issues tied up in the manufacture of new clothes.

Within minutes ‘exhibit a’ had had its mug-shot taken and its details plastered on the internet – and although it took over two weeks to sell and only went for a fiver, I got to put the money towards a natty pair of APC jeans and James from Bournemouth landed the piece d’resistence of his Alan Partridge fancy dress outfit.

Please visit bigwardrobe.com to find out more